Egotism is characterized by an exxagerated esstimate of one's intellect,ability,importance,apperance,wit or other personal charachteristics- the drive tomaintain and enhance favaroble views of oneself. In egotism we find the person filled with overweening sense of the importance and qualities of his personalities...the things of the "ME". It means placing oneself at the center of one's world with no concern of others,including those loved or considered "close", in any other terms except those set by the egotist.
Till date these were mere definitions given by some great authors, but these days I am witnessing circumstances, which have triggered my mind to think of reasons behind such behavior. I was always a firm believer of the fact that a person's nature is groomed by his upbringing, his experiences,events that have influenced his life, et al. But what has a 4 year old witnessed to exhibit traits of being stubborn, dominating, dictating, manipulative and selfish. The lost innocence is a matter of concern. Small children can never make anybody inconsolably angry, but I have experienced it and i do not like it.Explaining coolly is a better option most of the times, I beleive, but He pushes me to an extent that I want to yell and throw him out of the house. Seeing him trampling kids and ordering them around infuriates me. But what amazes me is his power of attraction. In spite of his inacceptable and audacious behavior, children want him around, wish to play with him, agree to anything , which otherwise they would have rejected.
Sometimes,I wish I had more knowledge of child pyschology so as to understand, analyse and handle this little brat in a corrective way.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
GEN-NEXT
Statutory warning: this blog may seem very biased as I am pissed off and need to vent my anger someplace. I have always heard that writing will pacify you and hence i am attempting to vent my frustation here....
Sahil and his friends playing at my place is a common daily activity. So I keep getting insights into generation next bahviour and today I am very annoyed with what I am seeing and wondering what kind of people are these kids going to be in the future. "Selfishness", "Super Ego", "Disrespect", I Know All- I want All" attitude, crush the timid/softer playmates, "manipulation"- these are the traits which are worrying me and believe me "Single Child Effect" concept is not applicable here. I do not believe in interfering when children are playing or having a fight, but these days I am forced to interfere and I am not liking it. But on the other hand, I cannot see my child being manipulated, unfair treatment being meted out to him, his toys being used and finally he not having anything to play and when he cries, his playmates, putting thier fingers in thier ears..saying that he is crying too loudly. If his crying at his home is annoying you, you can kindly leave all his toys behind and get lost. I would specially like to mention an incident that happened today: one of Sahil's new whistle was thrown out of the window, his scooter brake was broken by his friend. When asked, the blame was conviniently pushed on Sahil (which I know is untrue because I was a spectator to what was happening) and what triggered my anger was the statement by his unruly friend that " He does not use his toys well and so most of his toys are broken". I know they are kids, but this was an unwelcome statement from an 4 year old,who has just thrown a toy out of the window and broken another scooter. I reprimanded him and told him that Sahil's toys are broken because he shares his toys with friends like you.All this while sahil was crying because I was scolding his friend...what dosti and what friendship....its just a piece of shit.....today was the first day I told my son to ask his friend to share and play or just get out of the house...I know its wrong, but there is no other way out.
Sahil and his friends playing at my place is a common daily activity. So I keep getting insights into generation next bahviour and today I am very annoyed with what I am seeing and wondering what kind of people are these kids going to be in the future. "Selfishness", "Super Ego", "Disrespect", I Know All- I want All" attitude, crush the timid/softer playmates, "manipulation"- these are the traits which are worrying me and believe me "Single Child Effect" concept is not applicable here. I do not believe in interfering when children are playing or having a fight, but these days I am forced to interfere and I am not liking it. But on the other hand, I cannot see my child being manipulated, unfair treatment being meted out to him, his toys being used and finally he not having anything to play and when he cries, his playmates, putting thier fingers in thier ears..saying that he is crying too loudly. If his crying at his home is annoying you, you can kindly leave all his toys behind and get lost. I would specially like to mention an incident that happened today: one of Sahil's new whistle was thrown out of the window, his scooter brake was broken by his friend. When asked, the blame was conviniently pushed on Sahil (which I know is untrue because I was a spectator to what was happening) and what triggered my anger was the statement by his unruly friend that " He does not use his toys well and so most of his toys are broken". I know they are kids, but this was an unwelcome statement from an 4 year old,who has just thrown a toy out of the window and broken another scooter. I reprimanded him and told him that Sahil's toys are broken because he shares his toys with friends like you.All this while sahil was crying because I was scolding his friend...what dosti and what friendship....its just a piece of shit.....today was the first day I told my son to ask his friend to share and play or just get out of the house...I know its wrong, but there is no other way out.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
kalyug
Time and again these days, my mind is a hotch potch of thoughts triggered by experiences...some good, some bad and some bitter, that leave footprints on my heart and raises several questions. The question that frequently bothers me these days is about virtues and vices. Most of my virtues I feel are slowly becoming outdated or are rather treated as vices or I feel that way maybe because I am pushed around because of them. With my so-called virtues, I am too idealistic, which again has no place in todays new age world. Silence, tolerance, adjusting, understanding are words to be thrown in the trash. Traits like being mean, cunning, shrewd must be cultivated. I believe in being defensive. Strike only if you are in danger. But the new age mantra is....Strike, so that nobody would dare you.
What I am...I am.....major changes may not be possible in me as I am way past my formative years, but my confusion these days is what values should I pass on to my son, so that he can live a good and peaceful life later? I would like to mention two incidents here. One I experience in the park several times. I always tell my son to wait his turn. While waiting, some lady will just barge in and say "its my child's turn"....another incident happened in a mall. My niece and her mom were coming down an escalator and they spotted a lady giving away balloons. She was asked by her mom to wait her turn and request that lady to give her one. Behind them was a family with a small boy. His father told him.....once the escalator touches down...just run and grab a balloon. My niece was looking at her mother and her mother was in a turmoil. Fortunately, she got a balloon and the other boy didnt. But the situation could have been the reverse. This incident did trigger the big question in our minds.....Is what we are teaching our children relevant?? Or should they be programmed in any other way?? What is right and what is wrong? ....this is a debatable issue and I am still searching for answers....
What I am...I am.....major changes may not be possible in me as I am way past my formative years, but my confusion these days is what values should I pass on to my son, so that he can live a good and peaceful life later? I would like to mention two incidents here. One I experience in the park several times. I always tell my son to wait his turn. While waiting, some lady will just barge in and say "its my child's turn"....another incident happened in a mall. My niece and her mom were coming down an escalator and they spotted a lady giving away balloons. She was asked by her mom to wait her turn and request that lady to give her one. Behind them was a family with a small boy. His father told him.....once the escalator touches down...just run and grab a balloon. My niece was looking at her mother and her mother was in a turmoil. Fortunately, she got a balloon and the other boy didnt. But the situation could have been the reverse. This incident did trigger the big question in our minds.....Is what we are teaching our children relevant?? Or should they be programmed in any other way?? What is right and what is wrong? ....this is a debatable issue and I am still searching for answers....
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