Statutory warning: this blog may seem very biased as I am pissed off and need to vent my anger someplace. I have always heard that writing will pacify you and hence i am attempting to vent my frustation here....
Sahil and his friends playing at my place is a common daily activity. So I keep getting insights into generation next bahviour and today I am very annoyed with what I am seeing and wondering what kind of people are these kids going to be in the future. "Selfishness", "Super Ego", "Disrespect", I Know All- I want All" attitude, crush the timid/softer playmates, "manipulation"- these are the traits which are worrying me and believe me "Single Child Effect" concept is not applicable here. I do not believe in interfering when children are playing or having a fight, but these days I am forced to interfere and I am not liking it. But on the other hand, I cannot see my child being manipulated, unfair treatment being meted out to him, his toys being used and finally he not having anything to play and when he cries, his playmates, putting thier fingers in thier ears..saying that he is crying too loudly. If his crying at his home is annoying you, you can kindly leave all his toys behind and get lost. I would specially like to mention an incident that happened today: one of Sahil's new whistle was thrown out of the window, his scooter brake was broken by his friend. When asked, the blame was conviniently pushed on Sahil (which I know is untrue because I was a spectator to what was happening) and what triggered my anger was the statement by his unruly friend that " He does not use his toys well and so most of his toys are broken". I know they are kids, but this was an unwelcome statement from an 4 year old,who has just thrown a toy out of the window and broken another scooter. I reprimanded him and told him that Sahil's toys are broken because he shares his toys with friends like you.All this while sahil was crying because I was scolding his friend...what dosti and what friendship....its just a piece of shit.....today was the first day I told my son to ask his friend to share and play or just get out of the house...I know its wrong, but there is no other way out.
I remember an incident when i used to teach 3 to 5 year olds. When a child in the class used to be like this brat - we teachers used to follow this. may be you can try this with the brat: If the child is creating lot of irritation, for example things that you have mentioned, then what you can do is: talk to him politely, hold his hand and take him out with you (out of your house). If he still does not support to come with you, then simply pick him up, carry him to his house or somewhere else. Ensure that sahil and other kids do not follow you. Once you take the brat out, bend to his level, and look straight into his eyes - normal look (no anger, no eyebrow raised) just say - we are not going in the house because i do not like your behaviour". If he starts giving excuses, or making inocent faces, Ignore! and keep firm eye contact and just say no. Don't talk to him, don't allow him to run away from you. If he does, then just hold his wrist or pick him up, and make him sit with you outside house. 10 mins he will throw tantrums, but later. he is likely to say it on his own, that " i will not do this, i will not do that, i will do this etc" Talk less and act more with the brat. Your face should be very calm, and should not show any anger or frustration. have a gentle smile and perform :) ;) lemme know if it works.
ReplyDelete